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I love easily. It's part of my empathic nature and my natural defense of trying to really understand a person and where he keeps his pain. Once I figure out what's under the paint of a person, I either love them, or I want to stay away (sometimes both). I've written about this kind of love. I rarely use the words because there are so many misunderstandings and expectations, and people get love / attachment/ passion all conflated. I keep it to myself unless I believe we're on the same page. My last lover said the words, but only during a sexual context, more like, "I love what you do for me." I didn't engage in a discussion of it, but I feel pretty OK carrying my definition towards him now that he's an ex -- for me, it's permanent and non-possessive, and I need nothing in at all return. It's a warmth. I guess the bottom line is this: take it a good way.
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Those three words always seem to catch me off guard rather it be me letting it slip or someone saying it to me. The last time it was said, I was driving when he said it. My exact response was "Shit!! Why did you say that?? Why do you have to fuck things up?? I'll be home in a little bit."
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It's only when it's reciprocated that it really means anything.Like your internal reaction,shock and awww.Is pretty universal.Desperation alarms go off and in most cases a lot of people run for the hills. Over just a very short period of time we've cheapened it to within inches of its own demise.Those of us in that "dying breed " have learned we're better off keeping it to ourselves or used when we want to stop communicating with someone without having to tell them directly. Using more than all the road!
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Maybe it's because I've been burnt so much by those that or I've told to, or them to me that it's hard for me to believe it? Me too... my insecurities, and unworthiness just doesn't buy it. Thoughts from the Garden...
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2/2/2018 1:27 pm |
Intresting
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