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redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 6:05 pm

*ticker tape sound in the background*
THIS IS FAKE NEWS . . . WE REPEAT . . . THIS IS FAKE NEWS.

I am here at the scene of a "date". We are witnessing a number of "romantic" rituals. There is hand holding, whispering, *giggling* and O M G a soft kiss. Oohhh the humanity. It's shocking I tell you . . . shocking

Your intrepid reporter is going to . . . go in further, and deeper, for the story.

This is Triple R reporting live for A*F*FNN

*ticker tape sound fading away in the background*

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 6:27 pm

    Quoting  :

*ticker tape sound in the background* (even thought the reporter is not in the studio)

*whispering* Hello . . . hello . . . I'm not sure if BL in the studio can hear me but I'm going to describe what I can see. Not much really since we are now in a movie theater. Lucky for me I got the seat behind this couple who are watching a ROMCOM. This sure has the earmarks of a "date". I'm sorry if my report sounds garbled - the popcorn is really good here.

At this point in the ritual no deeper developments have cum up. But I did hear a *giggle* as I went to get the popcorn.

If the is "sexual congress" between the male and female participants I will be there. Ehm . . . to report

I have to go now the patrons are telling me to "shut the fuck up".

This is Triple R reporting live for A*F*FNN

*phony ticker tape sound fading away in the background*

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


CleavageFan4U 66M
69374 posts
11/15/2017 6:45 pm

I think RRR might get abducted, and probed, by those aliens out in the desert after this one.

Music, On HNW
Im Sooo Confused
Clue the Jetsons
[post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets


bigblackman21221 53M
4080 posts
11/15/2017 6:48 pm



I'll go with the 96 percent.
Erectile dysfunction has to suck.




redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 6:58 pm

    Quoting  :

*slightly aggravating ticker tape sound in the background* (even though ticker tape hasn’t been used in newsrooms for decades now).

BL, yes, *giggling at a "ROMCOM". This male subject seems to be pretty slick. Something he said got the female subject to “snuggle up” to the male and she placed her head on his . . . shoulder. I can’t see where her hands are.

BL, in case there is “sexual congress” could you get Willy, the camera man, not that dick in marketing, over here?

This is Triple R reporting live for A*F*FNN

*fake (like an A*F*F profile) ticker tape sound fading away in the background*

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 7:15 pm

    Quoting  :

*assuming the mic is off*

BL, remind me to interview that CF guy about his alien theories and then his analyst. Sheesh, why do I keep getting stuck on the friggin nut job stories?

Hey, is the chick with the rack doing weather tonight?

By the way did you get your teeth whitened today? There is a bright flashing coming from the direction of the studio.

Aw, crap the mic is still on . . .

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


marriedcretin 53M
1324 posts
11/15/2017 7:15 pm

Wait what? 96% of all men anywhere, not just on this site...its the genetic imperative. My genes tell me to sow my seed far and wide


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
11/15/2017 7:17 pm

OMFG I am laughing my ass off at this one hun.. sorry but it's funny to me..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 7:26 pm

    Quoting  :

*very annoying ticker tape sound in the background* (WTF? Is this the 60s?).

Sorry for the delay BL. I heard a zipper open as I checked on where the female subject had her hand. Suffice it to say I had to go wash my face and dispose of the popcorn. Can you hear me? I think the mic got hit too.

We are at a fucking Starbucks now. The male subject is paying attention to the female subject’s words. I believe they are having a . . . con . . . ver . . . sa . . . tion. The male subject may just get a piece out of this. He’s really putting up with al lot of . . . well, this is going to take a while.

This is Triple R reporting live for A*F*FNN

“stupid friggin ticker tape sound fading away in the background*

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 7:35 pm

    Quoting  :

Hey BL, if my g/f Tempt calls tell her I on this jerk off assignment. Ask her to keep the beer cold and the lube warm.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 7:49 pm

    Quoting  :

*LOUD shotgun blast, ticker tape scattered everywhere and no more ticker tape sound in the background*

Well BL, we’re outside on a back road parking area and watching an old piece of crap 1963 Buick from a safe distance. Ya know, this cheap bastard could have at least bought a convertible. But I think he’s “gettin some” as we listen.

Willy is going to “extend his microphone pole” to see if we can hear anything.

This reminds me of a Stevie Ray Vaughn song “If The Buick Is A Rockin Don’t Cum A Knockin”.

Hey, what is that annoying tapping sound in the background?

This is Triple R reporting live for A*F*FNN

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 7:52 pm

    Quoting  :

SHIT ! ! ! This mic is really gummed up. I hope we're on a 5 second delay here.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 7:55 pm

    Quoting  :

No I didn’t see Pagan I was in the men’s room. Although I’ve heard she doesn’t mind following “Big Al” in the men’s room around break time.

Hey! Is this stupid thing still on?

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 8:11 pm

    Quoting  :

Are there sounds you ask? Well, we know for sure this guy needs new shocks on the Buick. He could have at least given it a shot of WD-40 before the date. I can confirm that his “ball joints” are getting lubed.

And we also heard something about a bent crankshaft.

This is Triple R reporting live for A*F*FNN

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


gardenboy321 60M  
41936 posts
11/15/2017 8:14 pm

That's a shocking news update! lol

Thoughts from the Garden...


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 8:15 pm

    Quoting  :

Hey ! Is that Bob I hear in the booth? His wife is "dating" Fred the AM Traffic reporter. They "carpool" if you know what I mean.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 8:18 pm

    Quoting  :

I’ve actually never seen the Pagan chick – have you?

Hey is the weather girl’s rack real?

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/15/2017 8:33 pm

    Quoting  :

BL it looks like “Date-boy” blew his wad at the movie and is “out of gas” here on this fucking cold back road. We did see the female subject’s legs propped up over the front seat so I’m guessing he’s “having a muffin”. Must be a holy one too cause god is being summoned. I wonder how much it will cost to redo the upholstery on a 63 Buick, cause that is gonna leave a mark.

We’re gonna blow this pop stand (get it) BL. I gotta get my knob polished.

This is Triple R reporting live for AllFuckeupNewsNet

Hey BL, I certainly thought you knew Bob likes to Bob "for apples". Not SHOCKING really.

Later Toots.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Owatalife 67M
1711 posts
11/15/2017 9:46 pm

My word those are indeed shocking developments! I will tune into this evenings live reporting on the scene once I get a TV.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
11/15/2017 10:47 pm

Ha, you two were busy tonight.

Let me guess, did this "expert"'s username have heathen in it?


dayzeeme 55F
7024 posts
11/15/2017 11:54 pm

this is the best thing I have read all month. thanks RRR and LALA for making me laugh out loud repeatedly reading this!!! Carry on.


ismaithliom56 67M
411 posts
11/16/2017 12:25 am

"OMFG I am laughing my ass off at this one hun.. sorry but it's funny to me.."
I so agree with Tmptrzz... too too funny


TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
11/16/2017 6:03 am

And here I thought you'd blocked the heathen!

Then again, I saw him write something that was actually....... (searching for an appropriate word here) um....... errrr...... NOT asshole-y recently and figured he'd had a stroke or something.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/16/2017 6:13 am

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    And here I thought you'd blocked the heathen!

    Then again, I saw him write something that was actually....... (searching for an appropriate word here) um....... errrr...... NOT asshole-y recently and figured he'd had a stroke or something.
Tickle, the unnamed "expert" has a stroke every day cause that's all he can get.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/16/2017 6:14 am

    Quoting dayzeeme:
    this is the best thing I have read all month. thanks RRR and LALA for making me laugh out loud repeatedly reading this!!! Carry on.
We aim to please. But, if our aim is off try soda water to remove the stain.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


pagancountrygirl 66F
6466 posts
11/16/2017 6:20 am

Dammit....I think I'm deaf from that lawnmower. They told me there was a lizard herding competition and pointed me to the wrong studio. Crap!!! I finally get that thing shut off and I see RRR over there babbling about ball joints needing lube and a bent crankshaft....or something like that. I'm still having problems hearing. And one of the correspondents has been abducted and probed? Ohhhh....kinky? I seem to have missed some of the good stuff!

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/16/2017 7:38 am

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    Dammit....I think I'm deaf from that lawnmower. They told me there was a lizard herding competition and pointed me to the wrong studio. Crap!!! I finally get that thing shut off and I see RRR over there babbling about ball joints needing lube and a bent crankshaft....or something like that. I'm still having problems hearing. And one of the correspondents has been abducted and probed? Ohhhh....kinky? I seem to have missed some of the good stuff!
"a lizard herding competition" my ass-trological sign. I heard you were in Studio B charming Big Al's snake.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
11/16/2017 8:51 am

Who is this genius of social behaviours of the 21st century? I feel the need to congratulate the person on their startling insight.

You two, and the heavy chested weather girl, must also be congratulated on this outstanding, cutting-edge journalism. Pulitzer winning material I tell yiz, yiz can be proud of this outstanding work.

Interestingly, the statistics bear remarkable parallels to our patterns in Scotland:- 4% of male members are looking for a quick shag, the other 96% are looking for a drinking buddy, having conceded victory in the battle against ED a long time since, said affliction having of course been brought about by, yes, you guessed, drinking.........

Top effort McBiggles and McFrock, we are indebted to you.......


pagancountrygirl 66F
6466 posts
11/16/2017 11:01 am

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    "a lizard herding competition" my ass-trological sign. I heard you were in Studio B charming Big Al's snake.
Huh??? Did you say snake? What...are we herding snakes now?
I'm still having some trouble hearing.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


pagancountrygirl 66F
6466 posts
11/16/2017 11:10 am

    Quoting  :

*sticking finger in ear*
Ummm....yeah. No need to shout. I think my hearing is coming back. If you'll just point me in the right direction, hopefully I can find my way. Just tell me there aren't any snakes. I thought Red was mumbling something about Al having a snake. You know those things are harder to herd than lizards...right? You point them one direction and they still seem to wind up in the wrong place.

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
11/16/2017 11:26 am

    Quoting  :

Aye, I guessed it was that dick. Is he no' just a wind up merchant? Bears a striking resemblance to every wide-o that's gone before him......hmmmm, wonder why he seems so familiar??

I woke up to this wee treat, just as you were winding up the report, and I was making ready for the day ahead, so couldnae participate until now.........que lastima! Can't be helped..........


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
11/16/2017 11:28 am

    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    *sticking finger in ear*
    Ummm....yeah. No need to shout. I think my hearing is coming back. If you'll just point me in the right direction, hopefully I can find my way. Just tell me there aren't any snakes. I thought Red was mumbling something about Al having a snake. You know those things are harder to herd than lizards...right? You point them one direction and they still seem to wind up in the wrong place.
Turn right at the condom dispenser McP, then go straight ahead for 4.8 feet, ye'll find Big Al's snake trapped by the head if ye go through the second door on the left........


pagancountrygirl 66F
6466 posts
11/16/2017 1:28 pm

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Turn right at the condom dispenser McP, then go straight ahead for 4.8 feet, ye'll find Big Al's snake trapped by the head if ye go through the second door on the left........
I'm going to need that bed snake bat, aren't I?

Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


bigblackman21221 53M
4080 posts
11/16/2017 2:12 pm

    Quoting  :

Great!

Then I'm just here to blog. HAHA!!!


marriedcretin 53M
1324 posts
11/16/2017 6:28 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks BiggLala, this is MC interviewing Tom,
"Tom, what is your position on oral sex?"
"Well MC, I like to be standing, knees slightly bent, hand resting lightly on the back of her head."
"Excellent Tom, and this 96% controversy, if we had 100 men in here what do you think they'd say?"
"Well MC, I think they'd say Why have you brought me here? where is the beer? Did you see the game last night and then start lying about all the great sex they've been having."
"Well, there you have it. Incontrovertible proof that if you had a random sample of 100 men, they'd all drink beer, talk football and lie about sex. Back to you BiggLala in the new room."


redrockrascal 65M
23580 posts
11/16/2017 8:22 pm

    Quoting  :

Those would technically be bio-hazards. I tossed the heap-assed mic. That Buick needs a lot of work anyways so burn the seat and a full resto on the car.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


coranimuscorcill 58F  
801 posts
11/17/2017 10:33 am

Lovely Lala - Your Breaking News is being experienced on a global scale!
I've heard rumors of vists to emergency clinics due to sudden lack of oxygen in various locations du to the collective *gasps* of surprise!

See a similar report
Newsflash News alert Breaking News over at CorPlay.

You're invited to CorPlay anytime.
Kinky-ish coffee or before bed time fun in favorite chat rooms.
Life is too short not to laugh!
Peace, light, love


japaneseass 56F  
50231 posts
11/17/2017 5:12 pm

ohhhhh i saw that somewhere....and i was thinking too...

soooo did he said, he is a 4 percenter??? or not...


FMAOPLS 70F
27112 posts
11/29/2017 11:53 pm

So nice to see you 2 up to your old tricks.

Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.


Apollorising2057 63M

12/7/2017 6:00 pm

Too funny RRR Network!

Become a Apollorising2057 blog watcher!


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